Today, vibrators can come with breakup insurance, act as alarm clocks, and even give you personalized sex tips. While the technology is astounding, let’s not forget the purpose of the vibrator: to give you sexual pleasure. Well, okay, it may have originally been created to treat the sexist and absurd notion of “female hysteria,” but, thankfully, women have taken back the vibrator from Victorian-era male doctors.
That means that we get to enjoy all of the pleasurable results of vibes — as long as we know how to use them. Some vibrators are relatively straightforward; others come with multi-speeds and functions. There are even vibrators you can control through an app, or via Bluetooth. For those with vaginas, vibrators are commonly used to provide clitoral orgasms, but they can also provide multi-orifice stimulation. And they’re not just for solo masturbation sessions. There are plenty of fun ways to use them during partnered sex, too.
Obviously, there’s a lot to learn, and a pretty orgasmic incentive to learn it all. Read on for some sexy tips and tricks for using a vibrator.
Have an orgasm
It may sound obvious, but bringing yourself to orgasm with a vibrator is an intense experience, especially if you’re new to masturbating with toys it or have had trouble reaching orgasm in the past.
Set some time alone for yourself to get super turned on, and then take as much time as you need to masturbate until you climax. Relax and visualize your naughtiest fantasy, or watch some porn. If you don’t reach orgasm, don’t stress. Some people with vaginas can’t reach orgasm due to medical conditions or side effects of medication, or you may just be too distracted to get there on a particular day. While having an orgasm is a good goal, the primary goal of masturbating is pleasure (and stressing about orgasm tends to make it harder to have one).
Rub your clit as you insert the toy inside of you
If you own a toy that allows for penetration, while you’re using one hand to glide the toy in and out of your vaginal opening, use your other hand to rub your clit for dual stimulation. Flatten two to three fingers and rub them in circular motions over your clitoris (kind of like a DJ playing a record). Sure, there are vibrators that can provide both clitoral and penetrative stimulation at the same time (like a rabbit vibrator), but it can be nice to use simpler vibes and keep your hands in the game.
Use your vibrator with a partner
Once you’ve become familiar with your new toy by yourself, integrate it into partnered sex. Teach your lover how it works and how you like to use it, and then have them use it on you. Then, if they’re game, ask your partner if you can try out your toy on them. If it’s a penetrative vibrator and you’re not in a fluid-bonded relationship, just make sure to use condoms on the toy (like you would with a penis).
Explore penetration by gliding the vibrator in and out of your vagina
If you’ve purchased a vibrator that allows for vaginal penetration, you can explore penetrating yourself with your toy (though we’d recommend starting with your clit first). Start gently using just the tip, and move the toy in and out of your vaginal opening. If you’re enjoying the sensations, increase speed and intensity. Also, make sure to buy the right lube for your vibrator — if you’re using a silicone toy, make sure to get a water-based lube (silicone-based lubes will break down the silicone on your vibe, which is not good).
Find the right vibrator for you
Everyone has different needs, so finding the right vibe for you is crucial. If you’ve never used a vibrator before, a good place to start is with a simple, “bullet” vibrator. If you’re looking for a phallic toy for vaginal penetration, there are many realistic vibrating dildos on the market. Do you want a toy that your roommates won’t hear? Read through customer reviews on a retailer’s site to find a quieter vibrator. Do you like to masturbate during a relaxing bath? Go with something waterproof.
Start by writing down a list of everything you’re looking for from a vibrator, and then go to a sex toy site and peruse the options.
Set the mood
After you’ve selected and purchased your vibrator, it’s time to relax and use it. While orgasms may provide stress relief, it can be hard to get off when you’re tense.
When masturbating with your vibrator, think of it as a sex date with yourself. Get cozy and set up your surroundings like you would for partnered sex. Put on a romantic playlist, light some candles for mood lighting, or try aromatherapy to help you enjoy your new toy. Basically, treat yourself.
Gently press the vibrator on and around your clit
If you have a vagina, clitoral stimulation is a pleasant way to first explore the vibrating power of your new toy. Whether you own a simple bullet-shaped vibrator or one that resembles a bunny rabbit, gently press the vibrator on top of your clit. When people speak of the clitoris, they’re usually referring to the little nub that protrudes at the top of the labia, but most of the clitoris is actually internal and extends along the two shafts that sit at either side of the vagina.
As anatomy and sensitivity vary from person to person, you may prefer your vibrator pressed right above your clitoral area, rather than directly on it. Some people with vaginas prefer to use their vibrators over panties or a blanket, as direct skin-to-skin contact is too intense. Take some time to learn the clitoral stimulation that feels best for you. If you’re unsure of how intense you like it, try out a clitoral vibrator with varying speeds.
Use your vibrator on different parts of your body
Vibrators do so much more than give clitoral orgasms, so see how it feels to use your vibe on other parts of your body. We suggest using a vibrator to stimulate your nipples as part of solo or partnered play. Just press it against your breast and nipple as you would with your clitoris. And again, sensitivities vary, so figure out the right speed/pressure/spot for you.
And you know the trope about people purchasing back massagers with the real intention of using them as a vibrator? Well, the reverse can also be true — it can feel awesome to press your vibrator against knots in your neck and back. Sure, you might want to go straight to your genitals when you first buy a vibrator, but don’t forget to explore how it feels to use the toy all over your body.